Some rentals just make sense—I can say for certain that I will only watch ‘No Strings Attached’ one time. Maybe 0.5 times if it’s that bad. A tile-cutter. Who hangs on to those? Hoarders do. And you cannot afford to be a hoarder in college. Have you seen how tiny your dorm room is going to be?
Textbook rentals are great for the same reasons—you only need them for a limited time, and if you hang on to your Chem. 101 textbook through all four years and you’re not a chemistry major or pre-med, there is a show just for you.
You guessed it–it’s called Hoarders.
Sorry, just sayin.
Here are some rental industries and their failed business strategies—we packed our wit scalpel for some cutting remarks. It’s too bad all rentals don’t make as much sense as renting your textbooks.
Paparazzi
That’s right, you can rent your own stalkers! Is there anything these attention hogs won’t do? It’s bad enough people assume that I’m keeping up with the Kardashians. Getting annoyed by flashes for any extended period of time seems unusually tormenting. A better idea would be making sure your friends have their digital cameras for photos you actually want, not obscure photos with angles to catch your ‘nip slip’.
Friends
Can anyone say social media? Even if you aren’t an extrovert, today there are too many ways to connect with people from around the globe. You can search for interests and find people that share common ground with you—it is THAT easy. Even if technology isn’t your forte, go to local events, join a club/group or take a class. There are just too many alternatives to resort to renting friends who are there solely for your money.
Fembot
Japanese engineers have invented an ultra realistic, fully functional robotic humanoid (a la Austin Powers). We have the feeling that there aren’t many male models going into production. You know what’s freakier than a giant human robot contraption, a giant human robot contraption that is available to rent. I might consider renting them if they had machine-gun jubblies, otherwise I’ll pass . Companions should be the ones with real feelings and emotions, not computer-simulated responses. And who prefers the warmth of a cold metal hand on their shoulder? There is a reason why birds of a feather flock together—or so to speak.
Willhelm
I’m reading Chemistry: The Central Science