Sometimes living with a complete stranger is hard, but if done the right way, could be very beneficial and have a positive ending.
Speaking from personal experience, I can say that I have been in the same boat as you. My current roommate and I had major issues, and recently we have agreed to try and work it out. I will let you all in on a little secret. Your roommate might not like you just as much as you don’t like them. Keep that in mind…
I found that trying to have an adult conversation about your current feelings is the best way to try and settle your differences. Start by writing down a list. On this list are all of the things that bother you about what your roommate does. This is not a personality attack checklist. Meaning, you are not trying to attack who they are, just their habits and behaviors. Use this list to address each and every problem you are having. Your roommate might think, “Wow, you made a list of all of things that you don’t like about what I do?” If the list alone doesn’t make an impact hopefully you expressing your feelings will. Using a list can insure that you bring up ALL of your past and current problems at one time. Offer your roommate an opportunity to give you feedback and off their opinion on you and your behavior. It is only fair. Keep in mind during this conversation that it should be civil and under control. After you both have expressed your thoughts and feelings, you all should brainstorm ideas of how things could change to make your living arrangement work.
It is important to remember that it is easiest to address situations right when they happen. Do not allow your feelings to build up. Usually, when you are given more time to think about a negative situation, your feelings just become more and more negative after constantly thinking about it. If your roommate leaves their clothes all over the floor, simply say “Hey, could you clean up your clothes?” Don’t let the two or three shirts on the floor pile up to mountains of shirts and socks. If you let your anger build up one day you might go nuts and totally blow up on your roommate, who might not have even known it bothered you! People are not mind readers; do not expect your roommate to know what you are thinking.
If all of this does not work, and there are no improvements to your living situation I advise you to see someone who is responsible for housing. Explain to them the situation and the measures you have gone to, to try and have successful living arrangements. No promises are ever made, but you may be able to find a way to have the problem fixed.
Hope this all helps! With love,
Kat VonD
I’m reading Personal Finance