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How To Write a BAD Resume

Nothing is more enthralling than writing up your first post college resume, right? ….Okay I am only joking about the thrills of the trade.  Let’s change things up a little by me sharing with you how to write a BAD resume in three easy steps.

Step 1. WRITE FAST.

You seriously want to be done with this horrible task as soon as possible.  Editing takes forever and you may have to find another person for a second opinion.  Human Resources will definitely know you were trying to say “shift” the 30 times you left out the f.

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Step 2. WRITE A LOT.

No need to be shy- the employer has all day to read over your resume.   You should flood them with useless achievements beginning with your youth t-ball team home run up until the award winning omelet you created this morning. The less relevant the achievements are to the job posting the better.  You want to stand out!

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Step 3. LIE. LIE. LIE.

This company doesn’t know you.  Embellish EVERYTHING! Odds are they are not going to actually cross check all credentials you list.

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Okay…READY? SET? GO!

*DISCLAIMER: Following any of this advice will almost guarantee you a spot in the “reject” pile for landing interviews. Only follow these steps if you would like to remain unemployed.

5 Professions That Require a Master’s Degree

While the economic forecast may make you gloomy, it will give you peace of mind to know that many industry sectors today are thriving. What does that mean for you? You guessed it: jobs do exist!

grad school professionsBut professional success won’t necessarily come fast and easy. Some of the best and most lucrative career paths require significant applied intelligence, creativity, and hard work. They also may require years of formal training involving some higher education, such as a master’s degree. Below are career paths that require a master’s degree for you to evaluate and see if one is right for you:

1) School Administrator – Master’s or doctoral educational administration degrees are available for students seeking a career in education. Such degrees will qualify students to work as school principals, assistant principals, educational board members, or faculty advisors. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), employment rates for post-secondary school administrators will grow by 19 percent between 2010 and 2020, and the median annual salary in 2010 was $83,710 for post-secondary school administrators.

2) Marriage and Family Therapist – A Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy will provide students with the experience necessary to practice in this field. According to the BLS, most marriage and family therapists in the U.S. work for service or government-run agencies, outpatient care centers, or at physicians’ offices. Employment is predicted to grow by 37 percent through 2020, and the median annual salary in 2010 was $39,710.

3) Social Worker – To enter the workforce as a social worker, you will need to earn a master’s degree in clinical social work. According to the BLS, this field is expected to grow by 25 percent through 2020, and, in 2010, social workers earned a median annual salary of $42,480.

4) Physician Assistant – Accredited master’s degrees will qualify physician assistants to perform medical diagnostics and procedures under the supervision of physicians, as well as provide a license for them to practice. According to the BLS, employment in this field will increase by 30 percent from 2010 and 2020, largely due to healthcare industry expansion, and the median annual salary for the position in 2010 was $86,410.

5) Computer and Information Research Scientist – Breaking into this field requires a Master’s or Ph.D. in Computer Science to better prepare workers for all aspects of computer and information science. According to the BLS, this occupation will increase by 19 percent from 2010 to 2020, and, in 2010, the average annual salary wage was $100,600.

The above positions will provide a rewarding career path for you, as well as substantial financial benefits. However, in order to gain employment in these fields, you must earn a master’s degree, which will provide you with a competitive edge in today’s tough job market.

Mandy Fricke is the community manager for Elearners.com where she helps manage their online community for their master’s programs. In her free time she enjoys biking, traveling, and reading in coffee shops.

(Sources available upon request)

Know The Right People

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” It’s not exactly music to the ears, especially if you’ve spent a significant part of your college years within the confines of the library, working toward what you thought would be best for your future. Professional aspirations have been the driving force behind your perseverance and you certainly hope that the rewards will match your effort. In reality, your efforts may not be enough.

The economic forecast isn’t exactly promising. It seems as if these sorts of discouraging facts are being thrown out at will across all news networks. The state of the economy is a subject that occupies the front pages of newspapers all-too-often. Our familiarity with how difficult it can be to find a full-time job, even after graduating from a top university brings about anxiety and even sets off a panic among aspiring young professionals who had been hoping that their vision could be realized. What went wrong with the American dream? Is it still possible?

Yes, of course it’s possible, but it’s a little different. There is no pure “David vs. Goliath” story to be found within the real American dream. There are those who achieve considerable success, having started from scratch, but they do so with the help of luck and considerable help at crucial stages of their upward rise. For example, immigrants often come to the United States with scarce monetary resources and minimal connections. They spend a few years assimilating into the culture and acquainting themselves with people who eventually assist them in reaching their goals. Though you may hear people say “I did it all by myself,” it’s likely a bit of an exaggeration.

One of the most important skills to have in your arsenal is sociability. Approach people openly, showcase your worth through acts of generosity, and gain respect by being upstanding. Good people will notice your effort and reciprocate with similar actions. As long as you learn how to make positive impressions on people, you will have the advantage of others’ help whenever you are in dire need. People are generally empathetic toward those who show themselves to be worthy of admiration and respect.

This advice should not be interpreted as an encouragement of brown nosing. You should never be artificial in your interactions with people solely with the goal of gaining some sort of advantage. Do not let ulterior motives drive your social life. Being genuine always brings about the right result, in that you surround yourself with similarly good people. It is these types of individuals that can eventually make a big difference in your life. They can help you escape your struggles if they feel like you would be there to assist them in a similar situation. The value of making the right friends and acquaintances can never be underestimated. In the process of establishing such connections, you are literally choosing who you will be surrounded with for years to come. Make sure to not make these types of decisions lightly.

Summer Jobs

If you are looking for a summer job idea, here is the place. Only certain jobs will hire college students, and most of them are part time. I have experience at many different types of summer jobs. In this blog, I’ll include my insight and hopefully help spark your interest. Let’s get started.

RETAIL

Retail stores will almost always need seasonal help. The summer season is perfect because while some of their school year employees will be leaving, they will have openings for the summertime. I work at Victoria’s Secret currently and I love it. If you enjoy talking to people and helping them out in whatever way you can, retail is for you. You need to be a generally happy person and personable towards strangers. At my job I enjoy assisting customers and watching them leave knowing that I helped to make their day. If this sounds like something you’d like to do, try applying to various stores in the mall as soon as possible!

RESTAURANTS

I have previously worked in two restaurants. During this time in my life I was too young to serve so I found myself as a hostess. This is another job where you need to be personable. As a host you’ll enjoy discounts on the food! If you like to eat, help people out, and can easily entertain yourself during the slow time, this is the job for you. As a college student you will be old enough to serve food. This is even better. Servers at good restaurants can make a lot of money really fast. Alongside your pay check you’ll walk out with cash every night you work due to your tips. A lot of people that serve really enjoy it, and the money. If this sounds like something you’d like to do, try applying at restaurants in your home town.

WAREHOUSE

A warehouse is where you’ll likely make the most money during the summer. Also it’s probably where you’ll have the least amount of fun. I spent all of last summer in a hot warehouse tagging clothes. Although I didn’t enjoy my job, I made enough to buy my first car all by myself. Warehouses are great for big money fast. Every day I had to be at work by 7am and didn’t leave until 3pm. It’s a very long day. I made 9 bucks an hour though! It’s tedious and long but the money was worth it. If you are a scheduled person and are excited for a lot of hours and money, try applying at a local warehouse, they always need all the help they can get.

To wrap it up, these are the three different jobs I have firsthand experience with. If you’re looking for a summer job but don’t know where to go, try one of these options. The options I listed are usually looking for people this time of year especially. Good luck on your search!

Make Your Resume The Best-ume

Creating a resume is the biggest wake up call of your life. Not only do you have to think of all the responsibilities you had—or didn’t have—at your last internship, but you need to find a way to stand out. Especially when writing a resume for the very first internship you’re applying for and the only work you’ve ever known is a good old fast food restaurant, it might be tempting to embellish or even lie. While you certainly have to sell yourself and prove to the potential employer that you can get the job done and done well, there are lots of tips and tricks to keep in mind when crafting your resume.

Most importantly, you have to tell the truth. Think of yourself as Pinocchio. Sure, embellishing your duties here and there might seem like no biggie. This particular interviewer might not call up your references and ask. That added skill that you don’t really have might not be needed for this job…but what if they do call? What if that skill’s needed? Adding to your resume might help get you an interview—or even the gig—but at the end of the day, it isn’t worth it. Knowing you lied might trip you up during the interview, especially if they call into question what you wrote (not that they’ll think you’re lying necessarily, they just need to know more sometimes). Honesty is really the best policy for jobs.

If you don’t have a lot of experience or feel like a particular internship didn’t give you a lot of responsibilities, don’t sweat it. Resumes should be limited to one page. Honestly, we’re in college—if you have that much more than a page worth of stuff to tell in a resume, I applaud you. Stick to the most relevant experiences you’ve had. Even if it was an award you won in high school or a major accomplishment, it can stay on—though eventually you’ll cut those things off as you grow in experience and more related qualifications. Instead of lying to fill out your one page, you can also discuss classes you’ve taken that are pertinent to the position. If you want to be a web design intern, add on your web design class. But also be weary of tacking on your whole schedule. Be choosy about what you list on your resume, and keep the unrelated or unhelpful off the page if possible.

In addition to being choosy about the positions you include, you have to be choosy about how you sell yourself. Your interviewer wants to get to know you—but in a work-based sense. Meaning keep your life story out of your resume! If you had a life changing trip to another country, great for you. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be on the page (unless you can add “speaks Italian” to your skill set or gained some kind of related experience while abroad). You don’t need to include a head shot, your random hobbies or even your likes about a particular internship. These things can come up in the interview—if they’re worthwhile—and that kind of talk can be saved for in-person.

The resume is all about the basics: who’d you work with, where did you work , when were you working there, what did you do there with a touch of why you’re qualified for the new position you’re interviewing for. For every internship or job you list, make sure to include all those details. Have at least three bullets for each describing—with action verbs, like “Researched this” and “Wrote that”–some, if not all, of your responsibilities. Include a skills section for specialties, like Adobe InDesign or html or any languages you may know. Don’t forget to have a section for your education, not just the school but possibly your GPA, if you’re on the dean’s list or anything that helps you stand out. You can also have an honors and awards section, which may include scholarships, any awards you’ve won, or any mentions of excellence. Every accomplishment, no matter how seemingly trivial, counts and can make the difference between you and another applicant.

At the end of the day, a resume is a sheet of paper. Yes, it is important and yes, you should spend the time and energy to make it look and sound nice and professional. But you in person is worth more than you on paper. So don’t sweat it if you don’t have any awards to your name or your skill set appears limited. Put yourself out there, let your personality shine in your interviews and don’t just let your resume do the talking.

- ToonyToon